I thought I could do it. (Ashley)

I'm standing in the bathroom. It's 4:30 in the morning.  I turn and look at a ghostly reflection of myself in the mirror.  “I can do this” If a 7 year old can do this, so can I.  I have a needle, the tiniest thing you’ve ever seen, staring at my stomach.  Laughing at me, mocking me.  I pinched the fat like the doctor said.  Now, I just. Have. To. Poke myself.  That’s so much easier said than done.  I’m sweating now.  I gotta lean on something.  Oh, how about the sink? Yes, good idea.  Well, no.  The tub, sit on the tub.  Nope, I still can’t poke myself.  I can’t bring myself to stab that dinky lil thing in my stomach. 

I’m gonna have to get some help with this.  I have been standing in the bathroom for about 20 minutes. Unsuccessful.  This is the only way to do this.  It has to be today. It has to be now.  No way around it. 

I’ve decided to ask for help. 

I walk in the bedroom with a needle in my hand and say ‘I don’t think I can do this’

‘oh my gosh, get that thing out of here’

The challenge is, my husband is afraid of needles.  Passes out. Smooth out.  He couldn’t even watch me give blood.  Now, I’m standing in front of him asking for his help.  The crazy thing is, he says he can do it. 

I walk back to the bathroom, determined to accomplish this task.  It’s not that I am afraid of needles or even the pain.  The problem I have, well at this particular moment, it that I have so much adrenaline pumping through me, I’m afraid that as soon as I poke myself I will pass out.  It’s happened before. 

I am running late for work. I gotta do it. 

BAAAABE!   Please help me!

I’m back in the bedroom.  He stands up without question, ready to face this absurd request of mine.  I lay down on the bed.  Pinch my fat.  Prepare for the poke. 

I turn to look his way… he’s buck-naked.  Great.  Not exactly what I was expecting. Now I have the giggles.  I’m sure he can attest to this, but it seems hard to poke some one when the pinched fat they are holding is moving.  When we both get through laughing, he does it! It’s done. 

Day one, done.

I only have to do this for a month.  We got this.  : )